Thursday, September 18, 2008

The Mediterranean Caper by Clive Cussler



I'm interrupting low-content mode with a disappointing announcement. The Mediterranean Caper sucks.

I'm in Milwaukee on my layover to Nashville and I've got nothing to read for the rest of the trip now. I only got to about page 36 of the book before "hero" Dirk Pitt slapped a woman he'd just met two minutes ago. His reason: she was still grieving over the husband she'd lost in a car accident nine years before.

Here's Dirk's explanation:
"That torch you carry around is as worn out as an overcoat. I'm surprised someone hasn't taken you over a knee and spanked it off. So your husband was dashing. So what? He's dead and buried, and mourning over him for all these years won't resurrect him from the grave. Lock away his memory somewhere and forget him. You're a beautiful woman - you don't belong chained to a coffin full of bones. You belong to every man who turns and admires you as you pass by and who longs to posses you."
I repeat: he met this woman two minutes ago. Classy.

Of course she immediately sleeps with him.*

Because I was stuck on the plane with nothing else to read, I trudged forward, but finally gave up when Cussler hinted that Dirk doesn't know that dinosaurs and humans never existed at the same time. Or maybe it was when Dirk throws a temper tantrum for no good reason than that the scene was getting a little stale and needed livening up. So much for Cussler's Dirk Pitt. I don't care if it was written thirty years ago, I can't get through it. I'll stick with the Matthew McConaughey version.

*I hear that it's revealed later that the girl has a reason for having sex with this jerk, but that doesn't make his belting her any easier to get past.

1 comment:

Nick Kitt said...

Yo,Mike,Cussler doesn't get any better either. All his stories are far fetched pulp fiction and the author himself thinks he's God's gift to publishing. The asinine lawsuit he started (and lost) was over the idea the movie SAHARA was not true to his storyline,which for the novel, was an overbearing,ridiculous plot that the movie thankfully edited into an coherent and excellent adventure film. Kudos for the Matt McConaughey version of Pitt. I'll take that anytime to the self indulgent book version which only reflects Cussler's own ego. And if you have any doubts as to Cussler himself and the kind of man he is,then check out the fact that he uses Lee Spence's info to locate the HUNLEY,a Civil War sub,then takes credit for it after Spence discovered it years before. It was Cussler's lies and political influence that got him the credit,not the actual location.

Cussler's a bad,dishonorable man and doesn't deserve a smart guy like you reading him. His fans are brain dead when you consider the trash they push on to the best seller list time and again. And that jackass author is laughing all the way to the bank.

Good call on Cussler,Mike...

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